...WHY I DON'T..??..

I don't remember her,
But my loneliness reminds me of her,
With so many pals altogether,

i am n'er a solitary soul,
But i am , when she is standing aside ,
Who says she is standing aside?
Despite being so far, she's always sitting beside,
But if she is always sitting beside,
Then why don't I REMEMBER her ?

I don't have love and care for her,
But my heart melt and eyes get wet at her grief,
It's goodness of her nature which compels my heart to,
Her nature is not good at all,
But better than the nature's nature ,
Who always plays in favour of its creature,
But then why don't I LOVE her?

I don't wanna see her ,
just eager are my eyes to have a glimpse of her,
They'll not find her anywhere, they know,
They keep searching for her though,
Don't know why my eyes always keep looking for ugly face,
As ugly as the angels of fairy tales,
But then why don't I want to SEE her?

I have a bunch of hatred in my heart for her,
But it's very ungratefull to hate such a helpful one,
She is not at all a helpful soul,
But she helped me once to breathe ,more than once!
How can anyone help me to breathe ,
I was breathing on my own, but she helped me a lot,
But then again , Why do I hate her ????